Being Heard By Children: How to Do It?

Often parents and teachers wonder how they can make themselves heard by children. Many times, in fact, one has the feeling of speaking in vain. It seems that the children are not listening, not accepting the indications that are being given to them. How many times does it happen to say things a hundred times and not get the attention of children? “Clothes ",” Don't beat your brother ", "Put your room in order" are just some of the phrases that adults find themselves repeating many times a day, often without success. So how do you make children listen to you? What is the best way to adopt?

LISTENING TO CHILDREN: IS THIS THE RIGHT QUESTION?

Is it fair to ask how to be heard by children? What do you really mean by this question? There are several positions regarding the most effective education system to adopt with children. Some argue that an authoritarian attitude, based on respect for authority as such, is the right way to teach children how to behave. In contrast to this educational style we find permissiveness, in which the child is given full freedom, without offering him the tools to manage it.

Between these two positions, the authoritative educational style is that which allows children to grow up calm and balanced. Children need rules and be guided in growth, providing them with the tools to become free people, able to reflect and choose for themselves. It is only through an authoritative attitude, in fact, that children can experience themselves, regulated by a welcoming but solid context.

Is it right, therefore, to ask yourself how to make children listen to you? Certainly yes, because it is important to offer children a safe place to move and experiment, taking their measurements. It is only through rules, in fact, that children can grow happy and find their own balance. What can be done as adults, however, is to change perspective in the question. Often, in fact, it is thought that if the children do not listen to the fault, it will be their fault. In reality, even if the responsibility for not listening is obviously theirs, this is of little use to us. What we can do, however, is to understand how we can modify our behavior to make children listen to us. The responsibility in fact, education is always in adults. In fact, it is the adult who must structure the educational environment for that specific child. The question we can ask ourselves, therefore, is what we adults can do, to make ourselves heard by children.

HOW TO BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN: SOME PRACTICAL ADVICE

CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS. Sometimes, without realizing it, adults give confusing instructions. Although they may seem clear to adults, in fact, they are not. The request must be calibrated to the age of the child, also for how it is expressed. For example, sometimes saying to a small child in the morning "Get ready" is not enough: you need to be more concrete and define the various steps, so that the little one knows for sure how to move. Even the classic recommendation "Be good" often falls on deaf ears, because for the child it has too broad a meaning.

 ONLY ONCE. Often, prefiguring the fact that the child will not follow the directions, we tend to repeat things several times. This habituates children, who expect that they can eventually obey after the third time. Expressing one's affirmation once only, on the other hand, helps to pass the message that the indication must be heard immediately.

 ONE REQUEST AT A TIME. Sometimes the indications given to children are too redundant. When many requests arise, all together, there is the risk of confusing the children. For this reason, whenever possible, it is better to give one indication at a time, without overloading the children with information all together.

 MAKE SURE THE CHILD IS LISTENING. It seems obvious, but if the child is involved in a very pleasant activity, is in the company of other people or his attention is completely absorbed by another, it is difficult for him to receive the information that we are giving him or, at least, the it’s importance. For this reason, before making a request, it is important to get his attention, asking him to stop his activity for a moment to dedicate time to what he is about to say.

BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN: IS SCREAMING NEEDED?

Sometimes, we hear that screaming is the only way for children to listen. It's really like this? Is shouting really effective? Perhaps, exasperated by the situation, raising your voice is the only way to make children listen to you. But it is not a good thing to get exasperated to get what was asked of the child. For this, it is important to make sure not to scream. The attention of children, in fact, must be caught much earlier.

Children are people: it is important to adopt kind and courteous ways. This does not mean giving children the opportunity to do what they want, on the contrary. The rules must be clear and firm. But the way they are placed can change a lot. The indications that are given to children are for his own good, so also the way in which they are placed is important that he conveys this message. Withdrawing used games, for example, is not a punishment: the child is simply being taught to keep his things and spaces in order. It is an act of love that the child must learn for himself. Giving indications in a serene and calm way, often, contrary to what is believed, allows to obtain greater results.

CANNOT BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN? WHEN TO ACTIVATE

Furthermore, it seems trivial, but it is important to remember that children are people different from their parents and teachers. For this reason, it is natural that sometimes they say no or oppose certain decisions. If in a contained way, these behaviors are indicative of healthy growth and psychological maturation.

When, however, they are constant and the authoritativeness of the adult has no influence then, perhaps, it is necessary to understand what is behind this behavior. It can be a sign of a moment of suffering or unease. Indeed, the child can adopt an opposing attitude, provoke and try to get the attention of the adult world. Instead, it can be a particularly complex moment in family life. In a particularly stressful situation, sometimes, as parents, it is difficult to maintain a coherent educational system, and the child may find himself confused in the face of the situation.

It is therefore important to take action to understand how to deal with the situation. Working in this sense is fundamental. In fact, dragging the situation too far risks becoming a constant opportunity for confrontation between the child and the parents, causing stress and suffering for both, giving life to a self-feeding circle.

Reference: HLTAID004 Emergency First Aid Courses Training Melbourne

Educate Parents to Use Smartphones and Tablets

There is often talk of the importance of educating children and adolescents to use new technologies. In fact, the Internet is an extremely useful and powerful tool, capable of improving the quality of life in an extraordinary way. Through the mobile phone, in fact, today we can read books, search for recipes, shop and find our way around the world. In short, with the cell phone we can do almost everything. As an extremely powerful tool, however, it is important to use it properly and responsibly. This is why it is important to invest in education for new technologies of the new generations. But to do this, of course, the adult should also get involved. Often, in fact, we overlook the fact that it is fundamental, first of all, to educate parents on the use of smartphones and tablets. Only in this way, in fact, it is possible to transmit a positive and responsible model for the use of new technologies.

EDUCATING PARENTS TO USE SMARTPHONE AND TABLET:

It is impossible and, above all, useless and harmful to completely deprive children of new technologies. Our society is moving in that direction and, therefore, it is more appropriate to educate children to use the Internet in a conscious and responsible way, rather than to completely deprive them. Obviously, however, it is essential to take into account the age and development level of the child. It is impossible to think, in fact, that a four-year-old boy could have the same access to a cell phone as a twelve-year-old boy.

Today's babies are called "digital natives" because, from birth, they find themselves immersed in technology. Perhaps for the first time in history, they are the little ones who apparently seem to know more about their parents on how to use smartphones and tablets. The children, in fact, already very young, manage to explain how to move in the world of the internet. For their parents, however, it is often a relatively new reality. They approached technologies perhaps as a child, but were not born immersed in this world. Even for adults, therefore, the world of the Internet and its potential are still to be discovered. For this reason, perhaps, it is necessary to take a step back before educating children to use the Internet. It is fundamental, in fact, to ask ourselves if, as adults, we know how to regulate ourselves in the use of new technologies.

EDUCATING PARENTS TO USE SMARTPHONES AND TABLETS: THE IMPORTANCE OF THE EXAMPLE

Many times parents report serious concerns about the time children spend in front of their cell phones. This is understandable. Recent studies show that, on average, children, even very small ones, spend most of their day in front of a device. It really makes an impression to see how absorbed the children are in front of a screen. If we happen to see a child in front of a phone and / or a tablet, we all remain open-mouthed. But let's try a moment to broaden our horizon. Let's try to look around on the subway, at the bus stop or in a bar. What are most adults doing?

We live in a world completely immersed in new technologies. Staying out of them is impossible, but learning to use them consciously and responsibly is possible. Indeed, our duty. How can we educate children to use their mobile phone responsibly if they don't commit themselves to work first? Educating parents on the use of smartphones and tablets therefore becomes fundamental.

EDUCATING PARENTS TO USE SMARTPHONES AND TABLETS: HOW LONG ARE WE CONNECTED?

New technologies are taking up our time more and more. How often do we watch the time on the phone? The arrival of a WhatsApp message, Facebook notification or Instagram like? The time of the appointment at the dentist? The title of that song we don't remember anymore? And if there is some free time, who is not going to browse the profiles of friends and acquaintances? In short, how many times in an hour do we unlock the keyboard and look at the bright screen?

As is known, children struggle to manage time in front of telephones. And the same goes for adults too. For this reason, educating parents on the use of smartphones and tablets is essential. Not to demonize its use, but to be aware of the effort that can be done to get away from the phone. In fact, the risk of becoming dependent on it is very high.

EDUCATING PARENTS TO USE SMARTPHONES AND TABLETS: TECNOFERENCE

Not only. An American research has highlighted another very important effect of the excessive use of mobile phones and tablets. The study, conducted by Illinois State University and the University of Michigan, focused on the concept of techno reference. The term indicates the interference during interactions related to the continuous and repeated interruptions related to the use of the mobile phone. In fact, communication is not just verbal. When two people interact, looks and eye contact also become fundamental. Inevitably, with the constant interruptions related to the use of the mobile phone, this communication is disturbed. And this also occurs in the interaction between parents and children.

The results are worrying. The constant interruption to throw an eye on the mobile phone, reply to the message or watch social media can lead to important consequences on the relationship between parents and children. This emerges especially when they occur in daily sharing moments, such as during meals or in the routine of falling asleep. But not only. Research shows that the effects of techno-resistance can also be transferred to the psycho-emotional well-being of children. Indeed, emotional or behavioral difficulties may arise.

EDUCATING PARENTS TO USE SMARTPHONES AND TABLETS: THE IMPORTANCE OF SHARING RULES

Smartphones and cell phones allow us to do many things. Some of these, unthinkable even just a few decades ago. That said, the time spent in front of smartphones and tablets is far too much. Some studies indicate that the time spent in front of the mobile phone by adults is really a lot. How, then, to educate parents on the use of smartphones and tablets, so that they can also be a reference model for children? First, it is important to share some rules. This does not mean that the time that parents have to stay on the phone must be equal to that of the children. Rather. The adult also uses it (but not always) for valid reasons. However, at the same time, it is important to share some rules for positive and responsible use. The concepts on which it can be useful to reflect are:

THE WEATHER

How long can you stay in front of the screen? For adults, it can be helpful to monitor the time spent in front of the phone. There are several applications, created precisely to empower a conscious use of smartphones. Sometimes, having an idea of ​​the time spent online can lead us to reflect and change our habits.

SPACE

Can the mobile phone always be used? It is now automatic to remove the mobile phone from your pocket or bag as soon as you have a free moment. Even at the supermarket checkout, to cheat time. But also when chatting with friends, during family meals, before falling asleep. Choosing together the moments in which it is good to leave the mobile phone aside can be very useful for carving out moments that are not polluted by continuous interference and distractions.

As repeatedly said, new technologies are a very powerful resource. The opportunities they offer us are innumerable. There is no need, therefore, to demonize technology and progress, but it is much more useful to take action to make responsible and positive use of it. For this reason, educating parents on the use of smartphones and tablets becomes a main objective.

Source: Early Childhood Education And Care Certification Melbourne

Too Many Diagnoses on Children: Is It Really So?

I often deal with this topic with parents, but also with teachers and with the various professionals that revolve around the health of children. In fact, we often hear that there are too many diagnoses on children. In fact, in recent years we are witnessing a boom in diagnosis. There are many evaluations that they recognize in small specific learning disabilities (DSA), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorders, and so on. But what are the reasons for this increase in diagnosis? What can we attribute to the increase in assessments that lead to a certification?

TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN: BUT WHAT IS A DIAGNOSIS?

We often hear about diagnosis. But what is it really about? Diagnosis is the result of an evaluation process, which brings certain characteristics back into a specific category. The diagnosis, therefore, is a useful tool that allows you to define a situation and allows you to share it between professionals with a common and shared language. It is therefore a "label" that allows to give a name to the specific characteristics of the child.

At the same time, however, the diagnoses allow us to frame the situation and enable us to take action to take a clear and defined path. A diagnostic framework allows you to move through scientifically validated guidelines, which allow you to orient yourself in the best way for the well-being of the child and his family.

ARE THERE REALLY TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN?

Can we really talk about having too many diagnoses on children? Can we talk about over-medicalization? The problem, in reality, in my opinion, are not too many diagnoses on children, perhaps, but what is done with them. In fact, evaluation is often the starting point, but also the point of arrival. Too often there are fragmented indications and partial services, which do not help children and their families. At this point, therefore, the certification becomes only a tool that "labels" the child, but does not activate the context to rehabilitate it or strengthen its deficit areas. The diagnosis, in this way, in my opinion, serves very little.

At the same time, however, saying that there are too many diagnoses on children can be dangerous. In fact, when something worries or arouses some suspicion, contact a professional and investigate the situation. It is essential, in fact, to do in-depth analysis. Working in advance in this sense is very important. First we move, the resources are activated first.

The professional has a very important role. In fact, families must be accompanied to understand together what and how to do it. Every intervention must be built with that child and his family. It is up to the professional not to simply make the assessment, but to support the family in activating a context capable of supporting the child's characteristics. It is not only the child who must strengthen or rehabilitate his own skills, but also the context. Therefore, the psychologist-family-school alliance becomes central and with other contexts important for the life of the child.

TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN: WE ARE NOT PASSIVE SUBJECTS

One of the major risks that worries me about the excessive medicalization of children's disorders is to convey the message that nothing can be done, because the disorder is in the child. The risk, therefore, is that of feeling powerless in the face of the situation, and reifying all the difficulties in the child. He is the only one who can do something. This is true, but to a certain extent. As parents, as teachers and as adults who revolve around the lives of children, we are responsible for the context in which they live. And, as people, we are active subjects, each with their own skills and responsibilities.

It is the competence and responsibility of the adult world, in fact, to take action to guarantee all the major and best situations. It is not about doing it yourself or waiting for the situation to improve on its own, but moving in the best way. It must be activated synergistically. The diagnosis does not say that the problem is the child's and that the context must not change. This vision, in fact, risks reifying the problem in small. The goal, however, must be to create the best conditions to promote well-being and the improvement of living conditions, of the child and his family.

TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN: CHILDREN ARE NOT SMALL ADULTS

Many times we ask ourselves what is the standard of child we refer to. What is meant by a typical-child? Perhaps, in a society where perfection is expected of everyone, we have lost sight of what childhood is and the real characteristics of children.

Despite the daily scientific discoveries, we often forget to implement their application in everyday life. Too often, in fact, we are witnessing attitudes and claims of the adult world that do not consider the development of children. Children are not miniature adults. Their biological, physiological, cognitive and emotional structure is different from the adult one. It is not possible to make requests that children cannot objectively satisfy. Children cannot be asked to do abstract work in first grade, when that part of the brain is not yet developed. Can we ask the children to sit for 4 hours, to listen to the lesson passively? Can you expect children in kindergarten to eat compound seating, without talking during lunch? Some do, but not everyone can do it, and not necessarily because they have something.

TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN: THE ROLE OF EDUCATION

To understand if a child can be diagnosed, it is important to understand if the demands of the environment are suitable and if the teaching methods, for example, are consistent with his learning style. For example, Gardner points out that there are 7 types of intelligence. The current school, in most cases, considers only two: the logical-mathematical one and the linguistic-verbal one. On the other hand, whoever develops social or bodily-kinesthetic intelligence the most, how can he achieve his goals with the tools currently available in most Italian schools?

Furthermore, another interesting aspect is that development is structured in an interconnected way with education. It is therefore necessary to ask ourselves if we are guaranteeing all the possible favorable conditions for this to happen. It is not a question of being good or bad parents, but of implementing an educational system conducive to healthy and harmonious development. For example, can a child be expected to follow the rules at school if, for example, he doesn't have one at home?

IN CONCLUSION, ARE THERE REALLY TOO MANY DIAGNOSIS ON CHILDREN?

This does not mean that everything is allowed and that all the diagnoses are useless, indeed. Diagnoses are fundamental, and this is why special attention must be paid to their writing. We must be happy that the scientific community carries out studies and research to refine diagnostic criteria and intervene early on many difficulties.

As professionals, however, we must be very careful to give meaning to the diagnosis, which alone is not enough to exhaust the child's description. It is necessary to take a picture of the situation, as a starting point to understand where to strengthen, rehabilitate, educate or re-educate. In fact, the psychologist's is a scientific work, but it cannot be separated from the relationship and the context.

Source: HLTAID002 Basic Emergency Life Support Certification