Explain To The Children That Now It Is Impossible To Leave The House: What To Do?

I never thought I’d have to write an article called “How to Explain to Children That Now You Can’t Leave the House”. Yet it is so. Today, at the time of the Coronavirus, we find ourselves reflecting on how to help children and young people accept the restrictions necessary to stop this global pandemic.

The historical moment we are experiencing, in fact, is particularly complex. From one day to the next, our lives have been turned upside down. Going to work, waking up early to go to school, going out with friends and walking in the park are habits that, alas, no longer seem to exist. The routine that, at times, seemed to suffocate us and go tight, today, begins to fail. And this applies both to adults, but also to children and teenagers. They too, in fact, often forgotten at this moment, suffer from the dramatic situation we find ourselves living in. It’s not just about the school and the more or less effective online lessons. Even children and young people struggle to find a new balance, in this reality so different from the one we are used to facing.

Explain To Children That Now You Cannot Leave The House: Why Is It Important?

It is essential to explain to children that now they cannot leave the house. Because? To help them understand the meaning of this enormous sacrifice. Because, although children seem, in general, to adapt better than adults to changes, staying at home all day is a huge commitment. Especially in a period of growth such as childhood, where routine acquires a fundamental role, seeing your daily life upset is very tiring.

Furthermore, children and young people are asked not to be able to attend their schoolmates, friends and neighbors anymore. The grandparents, uncles and relatives who are used to attend. There are no longer walks in the park, football games or training in the pool. What we are asking of them are major sacrifices. Explaining to the children that now they cannot leave the house, therefore, is essential to make sense of this effort.

Explaining the Coronavirus to children and the importance of staying at home obviously needs to be done taking into consideration the child’s age and level of development. This step allows, in fact, to transform what seems a passive obligation into an active choice to fight the Coronavirus. It seems little, but it is not. What we are being asked to do is stay home to fight a very serious global pandemic. Explaining to the children that you can’t leave the house now allows you to play an active role in this battle.

Explaining to children what is happening, highlighting the active role we can have, becomes very important. And it allows us to overcome that sense of helplessness that often grips us.

Explain To Children That You Cannot Leave The House: Why Mom And Dad Yes, And Me Not?

The restrictions of the latest decrees impose a very strict regime. You can only go out for work, basic necessities or emergencies. Therefore, children and young people are not included in the exits.

This is necessary to avoid the spread of the infection. At the same time, however, what we are asking of children is a great sacrifice. Even if we do not realize it, the possibility that we adults have to go out to take the dog to do the needs or go to the supermarket with the necessary precautions, still remain two opportunities to get some air. Children and adolescents, on the other hand, are excluded from this possibility.

Right now, those who have a garden and a small courtyard are very lucky. With the necessary precautions and avoiding gatherings, it is thus possible to stay in the open air. Those with a balcony can take advantage of it to let the Early Childhood Education And Care to play a little “away from home”. Thanks to the warm days that the summer will bring, it can be an opportunity to “get out of the house” while still being in your home. Not everyone, however, is so lucky. Especially those who live in big cities (but not only) do not have gardens or balconies. It is important to remember, then, to ventilate the rooms, in order to favor the exchange of air, essential for everyone, including children and teenagers.

What is asked of them is a great sacrifice, but it is important to explain to the children that now they cannot leave the house, if not only for urgent needs.

Explain To Children That Now You Cannot Leave The House: How To Organize The Routine

Even if the rhythms are no longer marked by deadlines, it is important for children and young people to maintain a routine. Building a regular daily life, even if different from the previous one, is fundamental.

Timetables

In a reality where there are no longer fixed times, it is important to maintain a regularity of the sleep-wake cycle. Setting the alarm and getting up at more or less the same time, even for children, plays an important role. Wash, get ready and have breakfast. Maintaining the regularity of meals also becomes central. Especially in this period, where the appetite can increase or decrease, it is important to favor a healthy and varied diet. Staying at home for a long time, for example, can lead children to eat often and between meals, perhaps even out of boredom. Conversely, some children and teenagers can skip meals. Maintaining regularity, therefore, becomes central.

Organization

Staying indoors allows you to share more time with the family. This is true, but not always. The possibility of working in smart working for mum and dad, for example, is an excellent opportunity, but it must be managed appropriately. It is not easy, without pre-defined timetables, to be able to take the time to work or disconnect at the right time. For this it may be appropriate to plan the days. This allows, in fact, not only to have more time, but to have quality time. The importance of organizing, however, does not only concern parents.

Even children and young people must learn to organize their days, in a different way than they were used to just a few months ago. The absence of defined times (except for video lessons), extra-curricular activities and various commitments, can lead to continuous procrastination or, on the contrary, to the inability to “switch off”. Creating daily schedules can be very useful in this regard.

Explain To Children That Now You Cannot Leave The House, But That You Should Not Always Be Attached To Your Phone And Computer

One of the big problems that mom and dad have to face in this situation is the regulation of the use of phones, tablets, computers and various electronic games. A little because school lessons are done on the PC, a little because of the need to video call friends or to play games with the PlayStation, the use of new technologies in this period has significantly increased for everyone.

The Net certainly allows us to maintain contact with the world and to shorten those distances which, to date, seem so infinite. Therefore, the possibility of using all these devices is welcome. It is important, however, to regulate the use of telephones and computers, to prevent the children from spending most of their days there. In this particular period, in fact, it can be useful to take the opportunity to spend time together, play games, and share daily activities.

Explaining To Children That You Cannot Leave The House: The Importance Of The Example

How to explain to the children that now they cannot leave the house? In words, but also (and above all) by example. As always, the example of adults is worth a thousand explanations. While this isn’t always easy, for example, it may be wise to avoid complaining about restrictions on a daily basis. It is physiological to have moments of impatience, but the difficulty of staying at home should not be the only thought. It is complex for everyone, but complaining every day is useless.

It becomes more useful, however, to find fun and alternative ways to pass the time. Building, inventing something. Give space to the imagination. Rest. It is not necessary to fill in all the blanks we have. This complex period, among all the negative things it brings with it, can leave us an important legacy. Learning to live in the present, without necessarily doing or running. Without, necessarily, filling in all the blanks. And finally, it can be useful to think slowly about the future. Starting to think about a trip out of town, which dinners to organize, which friends to see first. In short, start dreaming of the future.

Being Heard By Children: How to Do It?

Often parents and teachers wonder how they can make themselves heard by children. Many times, in fact, one has the feeling of speaking in vain. It seems that the children are not listening, not accepting the indications that are being given to them. How many times does it happen to say things a hundred times and not get the attention of children? “Clothes ",” Don't beat your brother ", "Put your room in order" are just some of the phrases that adults find themselves repeating many times a day, often without success. So how do you make children listen to you? What is the best way to adopt?

LISTENING TO CHILDREN: IS THIS THE RIGHT QUESTION?

Is it fair to ask how to be heard by children? What do you really mean by this question? There are several positions regarding the most effective education system to adopt with children. Some argue that an authoritarian attitude, based on respect for authority as such, is the right way to teach children how to behave. In contrast to this educational style we find permissiveness, in which the child is given full freedom, without offering him the tools to manage it.

Between these two positions, the authoritative educational style is that which allows children to grow up calm and balanced. Children need rules and be guided in growth, providing them with the tools to become free people, able to reflect and choose for themselves. It is only through an authoritative attitude, in fact, that children can experience themselves, regulated by a welcoming but solid context.

Is it right, therefore, to ask yourself how to make children listen to you? Certainly yes, because it is important to offer children a safe place to move and experiment, taking their measurements. It is only through rules, in fact, that children can grow happy and find their own balance. What can be done as adults, however, is to change perspective in the question. Often, in fact, it is thought that if the children do not listen to the fault, it will be their fault. In reality, even if the responsibility for not listening is obviously theirs, this is of little use to us. What we can do, however, is to understand how we can modify our behavior to make children listen to us. The responsibility in fact, education is always in adults. In fact, it is the adult who must structure the educational environment for that specific child. The question we can ask ourselves, therefore, is what we adults can do, to make ourselves heard by children.

HOW TO BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN: SOME PRACTICAL ADVICE

CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS. Sometimes, without realizing it, adults give confusing instructions. Although they may seem clear to adults, in fact, they are not. The request must be calibrated to the age of the child, also for how it is expressed. For example, sometimes saying to a small child in the morning "Get ready" is not enough: you need to be more concrete and define the various steps, so that the little one knows for sure how to move. Even the classic recommendation "Be good" often falls on deaf ears, because for the child it has too broad a meaning.

 ONLY ONCE. Often, prefiguring the fact that the child will not follow the directions, we tend to repeat things several times. This habituates children, who expect that they can eventually obey after the third time. Expressing one's affirmation once only, on the other hand, helps to pass the message that the indication must be heard immediately.

 ONE REQUEST AT A TIME. Sometimes the indications given to children are too redundant. When many requests arise, all together, there is the risk of confusing the children. For this reason, whenever possible, it is better to give one indication at a time, without overloading the children with information all together.

 MAKE SURE THE CHILD IS LISTENING. It seems obvious, but if the child is involved in a very pleasant activity, is in the company of other people or his attention is completely absorbed by another, it is difficult for him to receive the information that we are giving him or, at least, the it’s importance. For this reason, before making a request, it is important to get his attention, asking him to stop his activity for a moment to dedicate time to what he is about to say.

BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN: IS SCREAMING NEEDED?

Sometimes, we hear that screaming is the only way for children to listen. It's really like this? Is shouting really effective? Perhaps, exasperated by the situation, raising your voice is the only way to make children listen to you. But it is not a good thing to get exasperated to get what was asked of the child. For this, it is important to make sure not to scream. The attention of children, in fact, must be caught much earlier.

Children are people: it is important to adopt kind and courteous ways. This does not mean giving children the opportunity to do what they want, on the contrary. The rules must be clear and firm. But the way they are placed can change a lot. The indications that are given to children are for his own good, so also the way in which they are placed is important that he conveys this message. Withdrawing used games, for example, is not a punishment: the child is simply being taught to keep his things and spaces in order. It is an act of love that the child must learn for himself. Giving indications in a serene and calm way, often, contrary to what is believed, allows to obtain greater results.

CANNOT BE LISTENED TO CHILDREN? WHEN TO ACTIVATE

Furthermore, it seems trivial, but it is important to remember that children are people different from their parents and teachers. For this reason, it is natural that sometimes they say no or oppose certain decisions. If in a contained way, these behaviors are indicative of healthy growth and psychological maturation.

When, however, they are constant and the authoritativeness of the adult has no influence then, perhaps, it is necessary to understand what is behind this behavior. It can be a sign of a moment of suffering or unease. Indeed, the child can adopt an opposing attitude, provoke and try to get the attention of the adult world. Instead, it can be a particularly complex moment in family life. In a particularly stressful situation, sometimes, as parents, it is difficult to maintain a coherent educational system, and the child may find himself confused in the face of the situation.

It is therefore important to take action to understand how to deal with the situation. Working in this sense is fundamental. In fact, dragging the situation too far risks becoming a constant opportunity for confrontation between the child and the parents, causing stress and suffering for both, giving life to a self-feeding circle.

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The Child and the Media: Influence and Education

The media everywhere exert a certain fascination because they are very attractive and easy to access. Being an integral part of the child's environment, they participate in the evolution of their imagination, and are enriching for their creative spirit.

However, the media can also manipulate the child by touching his sensitivity, his fragility because he is a small man in the making, still unable to have a critical look and take the necessary distance.

It is important, even essential for parents, to teach them how to use the media wisely to get them to understand how they work and gradually to separate truth from fiction.

The real and the imaginary in the child

At 3-4 years, the child does not discern the true from the false, nor the imaginary of the real, he does not know how to dissociate the silent thought and the words that can translate this thought. Bruner writes on this subject that the young child is convinced that the person before him knows all his thoughts.

The child has a particularly developed imagination. He can invent and tell aloud many stories without premeditation or malice. He tells them to have fun, he identifies with his heroes, without worrying about realism. The stories come to him naturally, from his childhood life, everyday rituals, moments spent with the family, the nanny, the school...

"The identification with a superhero means above all in the child a desire to be great, to identify with parents, with those he loves. It's a declaration of love. The fascination for the superhero, on the other hand, is not positive because it can translate a fear of the world, a desire to take back virtually the control of reality. The game, drawing or writing, can support the real by providing magic offsets. "

It is important to help the child become anchored little by little in reality, to project, without restricting his imagination. Some recommendations can lead him to make the difference between the imaginary world and reality:

·         Valuing the child's words when they are right, true. When he has made a mistake or a mistake, the parent can encourage him to say what really happened. It is important to congratulate him when he recognizes his error or his mistakes and when he repairs. The scolding is not the most effective, the child would later seek to hide his mistakes and lie for fear of being punished.

·         Avoid making a moral judgment about your child's "stories". "You really talk about anything!" During an interview explains that parents can try to read behind the words, even when the words "lie", and find out what is the hidden truth in the story of the child. For example, if the child says: "I'm cold!" While it's hot, it's better not to answer him: "No, it's hot!" It is essential to respect the unique feeling of the child. Even if this feeling does not correspond to reality, it still corresponds to something that the child seeks to express. This is how he can strengthen his self-confidence.

After 4 years, the child discovers what is not real. This does not prevent him from continuing to invent stories. The psychologist answered on this subject: "If he tells you that he drives a car, rather than telling him:" It is not possible! ", Which would cancel his word and his imaginary world, it is possible to enter his imagination by graciously correcting: "Ah, you would like to drive a car ... You would like to be able to do it already .... But do you really know how old you will be able to do it?

The media

a) Their influence:

The media exert a lot of influence on the psychosocial development of the child. They quickly realized that advertising products marketed to children is very effective because they do not understand the principle of hype and advertising bluff. They tend to believe everything they are told, and they may even feel deprived of something essential if they do not acquire the products touted by advertising. Most preschoolers do not understand the difference between a show designed to entertain and an advertisement made to sell. "Several studies show that because of their level of development, children before primary do not necessarily distinguish advertising from regular programs."

b) Images and violent sounds:

The violent images that are most likely to disrupt a child are scenes of real-life events, hot topics such as bombings, war, famines in foreign countries .., as well as scenes in which animals are injured or killed. Psychiatrist, specifies: "As far as what is shown, it is its emotional context which matters for the small child. For him, seeing a soldier firing a machine gun is less disturbing than seeing people howling, crying, and running out of their homes. And he is even more disturbed when he does not know what value to attribute to this emotional intensity, as is the case when he sees pornographic images. "

Understanding an injured child by the media images?

"From the age of 2, a child is able to turn away from something that bothers him, such as leaving the room or changing channels when he is older,". However, if some violent images have caused him emotional stress, in the form of anguish, fear, anger or disgust, he will seek to protect himself, not only but in front of someone. For this, he tries to transform these images in 3 ways:

·         by talking about it,

·         by telling each other stories

·         or by reproducing, imitating the stressful gestures he has seen.

Daily accompaniment

Adults who are aware of the risks that a child faces in the media can guide him or her in the relevant use of the whole, be it TV, radio, video or computer games, the Internet...

·         With good media management for example in its second year, television habits can be established, and parents knowledgeable about the shows and their hours of broadcast.

·         Watch television, the Internet together and enjoy these times to discuss programs, images, what the real order is, and what is fictional. He proposes to establish a climate of trust and a constructive dialogue and not to systematically ban everything. Other media such as magazines and radio can be supervised by adults because they can also influence the child's eating habits, physical activity, consumption or mental health.

·         Vary activities shared with the family: cooking, DIY, various outings (walks, zoo, park, museum, outdoor games ...), because the more children spend time with the media, the more they are influenced by them (television for example). A child who has problems with aggression, or who seems more vulnerable.... may be too exposed.

·         Continue to keep abreast of the most recent data on the influence of the media and the development of psychosocial health of the child.

Conclusion

The issue of children's exposure to the various media is an integral part of education today. Parents and professionals play a very important role in the social learning of the child. The media have their good side, they are rewarding for all. To speak about them regularly and to share the opinions of each one, each one, big and small, is to act as parents-educators actors.

The media is ubiquitous and the pressure is constant. Also, do not let them take over our children, when it comes to education and influence.

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